I want it badly

i've been thinking to make a change for myself. a better change. i'v been avoiding quite a lot of time. sometimes, good lucks were on my side. when it did happen, i know Allah wants to help me. everytime there is a meeting, i ask myself 'when will i join the clan?' i am just feeling inferior and insecure that gonna expose my flaws. but no worries, someday, i just will. :)