First feeling

i've been living in my own past since the day i left college.

i know when i start pressing the keyboard, i am not being fair to everyone. life doesn't revolve around you only. i know but i can't help it plus with th internet is being bitchy day by day i don't get to blog whenever i feel like to. i know people would get sick of me blogging about the same person and can't seem to let go what is suppose to be let go. my apologies my fellow readers.

but hey, i've had enough restrictions back in college. trying to be fair to everyone though i failed. berlapang dada in everything that was happening. trying to keep up with you was hard. mainly because you get easily distracted, you're forgetful, ignorant but of all of that, you're still awesome. well, not that awesome. i am a patient person am i? nobody ever tahan being with you i don't know where the patience came but nothing ever difficult when handling you. so i don't know how did others think that way. everything came out naturally.

the first feeling i had when we became friends was i was scared of you. i felt inferior when talking to you. i remember the first time i asked for your help about Maths. you were good in Maths. you resemble a lot like Amal. laid back and at the same time good in Maths. if you think you're not, well at least you used to be good in Maths. if others didn't think you're, i do regard you as someone who has good vibe in Maths. you're a fast learner, you don't need tonnes of exercise. i have to admit that despite of that, you didn't actually spend most of your time studying. wonder what would happen of you did. i hardly see you studying whenever i came to your apartment LOL. nevertheless, you're not that bad. okay the point is, i asked you a question. the question was hard (that time i assumed it was hard but it actually not), you took the textbook and after a few second of thinking, you got the answer correct. you're creative that way. i was impressed of how easy you handle those things and because of that, i can't help but i felt inferior. i can't even looked into you eyes when you explained to me later. there was a mixed of awkward too and i acted like it was normal but only God knows how i felt. you know, like i was trying to shut my insecurities. don't know if i succeeded.

and the thing of me being scared and trying to pull back when you were around, yeah it was that one :P


p/s; i had a dream today. do not whether it's a good or bad dream. it said, i got 13 points for A-Levels and you got 14.