Prayers

lately i always found myself being scared of losing you even though i know death is for sure. but i couldn't help myself from getting deep in thoughts. so many what ifs came up.

i sometimes wonder where had the good old times had gone in my head? i forget things easily that i find that very frustrating especially when i need that the most. when i wanted to remember something very special but i couldn't feel that anymore. i couldn't remember the trace i did. i couldn't remember the emotions. i couldn't remember what day it was, what time it was. i couldn't remember the important part of that. and because of that, i knew that i'll forget things easily when it happens again.

i tried so hard to remember the details because i don't want to lose it again. i wanted to record sooo many memories as i could because i don't want to forget easily.

sometimes i wonder who will return to The Creator first. i couldn't imagine how i'll be like. i can't imagine myself sleeping in bed with no one beside me. remembering the times you watched me reciting Quran and the times you used to be here, that is going to be the hardest thing to get over with.

i know i made a mistake because i forgot i will always have Allah to listen to my cries and prayers. we're humans and we don't live forever. we don't know when we'll die.

yaAllah, Engkau redhakanlah hatiku atas segala dugaan yang menimpaku.